insecure-jiayu@blogspot.com


<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/3963998626293842602?origin\x3dhttp://insecure-jiayu.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Friday, July 3, 2009 ' 1:05 PM Y
i can't deny that i don't miss those times ♥

i really hate e way im behaving now.. but i jst help it.. how u ppl wan me to take all these "nonsense"?

1st :
my grandma leaves me..

2nd :
my dad betrayed me..

3rd :
my sanshu dun wan me..

4th :
my mum keeps telling me tt she wont live tt long too.. (always claimed tt "suan ming lao" says she wont live till very old)

5th :
my ahgong, TELLS ME(ONLY) NEXT TIME WHEN HE PASS AWAY, WHICH PHOTO HE WANNA PUT DURING HIS FUNERAL.. INFRONT OF E WHOLE FAMILY!!!

HOW AM I GG TO TAKE IT.. U TELL ME?

my ahma passed away when im at e age of 13.. i only rmb hw sad we are.. hw much i love her.. n when i was young, hw she take care of me when im sick.. when i misbehave, my parents will canned me.. n she saw those "zebra strips" on my body.. hw she use e bamboo stick to whack my parents.. she's really cute right? after her death, i only knw i got to cherish n love my grandpa mre.. tt's wat i told myself when im at e age of 13..

at e age of 15, i had a BIG quarrel with my dad.. soon, at e age of 17, they decided to divorce.. becux i forced them.. he claims tt im e 1 who forced him to go out n flirt ard.. becux i look down on him.. did i? dun rmb a single thing abt him anymre.. i used to love him very much.. yet he betrayed me..

now, coming 20 this oct.. my sanshu passed away during mar.. he break all his promises.. i rmb i ask him out for dinner before i went bkk for holiday.. n he agreed.. but before i left for my trip.. he told me this.. "jess, sanshu wont live long anymre.. next time cant cook for u to eat anymre.. no mre chance alr.." i told him.. mai lai lah.. u still so young, dun anyhw say.. den.. we ended tt topic.. when i came back frm bkk.. i was damn broke.. but am getting my pay on coming fri.. so planned to ask him n ahgong out on fri for dinner.. who knws.. thur morning.. heart attack.. he passed away.. he always protect me whenever im being "bullied" by my relatives.. they will disturbed me with durians.. but my sanshu is e only 1 who will ask them to fuck off.. i promised him.. i'll take good care of ahgong.. so no worries.. jst go in peace.. den.. i dreamt of hw sad n disappointed he was.. for some unknown reason..

same year, June~ my great-grandma passed away at e age of 100..

jst weeks ago.. when we're packing ahgong huse.. i was in his room watching tv.. den.. he shouted for me.. "ahjess, lai.." i went out, he showed me 1 photo of him when he was still "young".. he's wearing his police uniform.. very handsome.. whoohoo.. aft i made tt comments.. he told me.. "jess, next time ahgong pass away.. u mst put this photo infront of e lorry ok?" i was like WTF!!! ah sua, dun wan entertain him.. den i went in e room n continue my show..

anw, my mum has been repeating e same old lines to me almost every month.. i dun wan to live tt long.. suan ming lao say i wont live tt long too.. TT'S GOOD! (another WTF)

Edward's getting married this coming sept.. ahgong keeps telling me tt, faster settle korkor's wedding.. den he can also die with no regrets.. whoohoo~ (he stabbed my heart)

WHY? i tried my very best to behave like a good girl.. jst wanna make him feel proud of me.. n yet, he give me all these craps.. i dare to say, im e most filial girl in e whole family.. but.. he only wants to faster settle korkor's wedding n go die.. CB!

wat abt me? i also want him to handle all my wedding things when its time for me to get married.. BUT.. (speechless) jst becux my BLOODY SURNAME IS NOT KOH.. tt's why my wedding is not as important as Edward? jst becux he's e oldest grandson.. so u're so excited abt it..

jst becux my surname is not KOH.. jst becux im not a guy.. tt's why im not tt important.. i did so much things for u.. i dun expect anything in return.. i jst wan u to live longer.. to prepare my wedding.. to take care of my children after i get married.. but why.. why mst u sounds like im not important to u.. i knw u dun mean it.. but do u knw tt watever u say.. i care alot..

e people i love, all leave me.. so.. are u trying to tell me.. in order for u to live longer, my only way is to leave u guys.. dun love u ppl tt much.. den.. u ppl will live longer.. n stay by my side?

i only ask for e sense of security.. why cant u jst give it to me..

i really cant take it anymre.. i really hate e feelings when all e ppl i love are leaving me... is it becux of me? becux i love them so much, tt's why they leave me?

im dead tired.. those words keep repeating in my head.. hw am i gonna carry on my life with all these words..

its torturing me.. do u knw tt? i need to find ways to vent all my unhappiness.. but i jst couldnt find e best way.. so, back to square 1.. e mre i hurt myself.. e better i'll feel..

u ppl always say.. we mst show mre care n concern towards e 2brothers.. cux, sanshu n laoma's death, is really a big blow to them.. u ppl scared tt they might do silly things to hurt themselves.. so, meaning, i can take it very easily?

but, have any1 spared a thought for me?

oh ya, this morning.. before e prayers starts.. ahgong came to poke me.. n said.. "u nvr call him(my uncle) arr?" usually, my ahgong wont even bothers if i call who n dun call who.. so meaning, they did comments abt me infront of ahgong these fews days.. tt's why ahgong will have this kind of reaction this morning? forget it.. i dun wanna care abt it anymre.. say wat u ppl wanna say bah..

Others can missed e prayers session.. dun go ahgong huse evy weekend.. or even go up there n slp/show face den goes off.. those ppl wont get fuck by them.. but i will.. how pathetic huh..







THAT LADY

Jesslyn is all u need to knw~
ima-bytch
27oct`89 - 22yrs`old !!
im not as sweet as u think, so dun mess with me~ im warning you!
Martell is not my fav, but definitely my BEST FRIEND~
jst leave me alone, if u dun LOVE me ..
To be continued here ..

SHE WANTS

MICKey, mickEY & mre MICKEYSSSS ~
최강창민
More time with my bytches
MORE sense of security
new tops/bottoms
Heels/boots
iPhone 3GS
iPhone 4
Samsung Galaxy S
Gucci "Lovely"
LV neverfull
Dior wallet
Dior new edition wallet
HongKong Trip ! Again ! *hehehees*
Taiwan Trip ! Again ! *shopping*
Korea Trip !!! *PJS* ♥
More $$ for me to shop =P
To be with my LOVES one!
i jst wanna be love-d ♥

SCREAM;TALK




THE SWEET ESCAPE

xia0minmei
fen-sexslave
joan-baobei
sheena-dasao
Cerlyn
gWen
AndrewTimothyAttenborough


LOOKING BACK

  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • September 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • May 2010
  • June 2010
  • July 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • November 2010
  • March 2011


    • CREDITSY

    Designer: %PURPUR.black-
    Image hosting: x
    Brushes: Adobe Photoshop Cs2
    Dafont
    Leave the credits alone, please :D